sunday morning

god~~ get me outta here... you would think sunday mornings would be uneventful and stuff..but not in the Pang residence... this morning i was reduced to tears, humiliation and emotional breakdown... stupid really... i just got pissed with everyone relying on me... ever since i got my license and we lost the maid.. i feel like my life is like a used up toilet paper left lying on the floor.. whenever my office lady needs to go home it's always "Adelineee... go to office..".. i don't mind doing it.. but when i'm busy doing work, sleeping, or just not available.. and sa's free or boy's free.. they just have to make me do it~! argh it's not like the office is in bandar.. not like they never drove there illegally before... my gawd.. no.. they have to disturb me.. sheesh... and then when it comes to female chores i'm again busy, they have to ask me to do it.. sheesh sa's there too you know... sa's a girl too you know.. why can't you ask her to help... no it's always adeline... god... pathetic really.. and then at the end of the day no one appreciates me... go on laff and poke fun at the fat girl... she's harmless wtf... so pissed...

this morning, a.ellie and i were cooking.. sa could have helped.. but no.. she had to do hmk.. i have hmk too.. but no.. her hmk is more important than mine... i cannot help but feel a large similarity with the biblical story about the two sisters and Jesus telling a story thingy.. (i forgot the names of the sisters...) one stopped working and the other was busy and stuff.. n then the busy one complained to Jesus n Jesus sed sumthing like no one forced you to work come and listen my child... or something like dat? (i'm sorry if its all wrong... but rk was A LOOONG time ago) yeah i can make a distinct comparison here... except that in my case Jesus(my family) is not so forgiving and nice... i can not just let go and listen to the story... i have to keep on working while my sister has the advantage of listening to the story... sheesh.. i desperately need my life and individuality back... DAMN YOU~!!! effing pissed... after an hour and a half of kitchen work.. i had it.. my fingers were sore.. i could feel the blood pumping in my thumb.. i got blisters.. i stopped peeling the potatoes.. and went off... do some literature work (ah.. my salvation) i need to go shopping... helps me relieve stress...

maybe the key solution to all this is to stop being so feminine... i should be more like sa... hate cooking, be more of a man... love sports.. i don't know why people depend on me... i'm a pushover? if you think i'm jealous.. maybe i am.. jealous of a bit of freedom and relaxation...oh well.. it's still early in the day.. i hope night time will be better... enclose me within the darkness unknown where those buggers won't disturb my peace..

WORD OF THE DAY -
lachrymose: a tearful

aplc