i feel broken...

As I was going down the stairs from Uni today, I slipped and broke my high heels... My friends were all rushing at me with the "daijyoubu desu ka?" and all I could think of was... "MY SHOES!! MY SHOES!!" Currently, I'm sitting in my room thinking... what should I do... I skipped class because I was too frantic about the situation. I want to go to town to find a repair shop. I just researched about do-it-yourself repairing heels. I've learnt that super glue is not enough. You need shoe glue and shoe nails. Before today, I have never heard of such a thing as.. "Shoe Goo". But it seems to exist and now is a good time as ever to call for goo.

Fortunately for me I was carrying my gym shoes in my rucksack. So I changed from my 3.5 inch (9cm) high heels to my Nike sport shoes.. And boy what a difference it makes. I know that high heels are not good for the feet. I've heard of theories that wearing high-heels endanger life.. something about shortening the life-span? I don't know if the theory is sound of not but.. I would never give up my heels.

I have got friends who has never owned and still haven't got a pair of heels. And are still not interested in heels. I don't know when I started wearing heels and how I got used to the idea of heels.. But what I do know is.. I simply cannot go on without heels. As you might have guessed already, I go to school in outrageous outfits. I don't go to school in a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. No, wait.. there are days which I am lazy and rushing to school... SO that would be a lie. MOST OF THE TIME, I dress up to school. I wear clothes fit for a party, an outing in Tokyo, a club-worthy outfit; fully equipped with make-up, accessories, and high heels.

They say that "clothes maketh the man". And so it does! I don't think its a good thing, but hey it's me. I felt very different when I was wearing my sport shoes. Sure, they are Nike. But who cares?! I don't like being on the level. I want to feel up-lifted, elevated and glamorous. High heels make me feel whole. On the days where I don't dress up for Uni, I literally feel like SHIT. When I was trolloping about in campus with my heels, I felt like a somebody. When I fell, normal people would be embarrassed (I caught myself on time.. I didn't fall on my face or anything.. just that the shoe broke) so yeah - normally people would be embarrassed.. but no, I still felt proud... It was only when I put on the sport shoes, I felt humbled and like a nobody. To me, it was equivalent to a rich snobby person suddenly losing it all. I'm a nobody. Don't look at me, I;m wearing my sport shoes, I'm short, I'm ugly.

I wonder if anybody out there feels the same like me? I don't like how I am unable to feel sexy in flats. It's SO inconvenient. Take for example, when you are in a foreign country, you go to the shopping district, the wisest thing to do is to wear your most comfortable shoes so that you can shop till you drop no? But whilst shopping, one must also dress the part so that the sales people can treat you nicely no? To do that, I need my shoes. I need heels to bring on the "Look at me, I'm beautiful, rich and important - show me your goods" aura.

I am utterly depressed now. I feel so very broken. I'm silently hoping that there's a repair shop in town that is able to treat my baby. I need those shoes. I shall go out to repair now. Whilst doing that, it doesn't hurt to look at other heels... *laughs*