I went on a Sunday. Expecting to see the ever so famed cos-players, goth-lolis.. but no.. it was raining. therefore the show shall NOT go on? even if they were there.. it wouldnt be fun.. cos raindrops keep falling on my head...
it was even more depressing as we went shopping, i couldnt find anything to flatter my figure.. drat you japan! i mean its not like i couldnt wear the clothes... i could wear them.. and make myself look even more pregnant.. why is the fashion now flowy shirts?!?!? with huge-ass ribbons drawn across the chest region!? probably because im in japan.. clothes just need to make Japanese girls look like they ACTUALLY have breasts.. damn it all~!!!!
so depressed me walked along harajuku, and suddenly.. TOPSHOP!!! international brand = international sizes.. i was so estastic that when i found a little skirt, i didnt even consider the price, and just bought it~! when i found out that it was 10000yen.. i taken aback, but it was the first merchandise of the day~! hell man.. im getting it~!
next store.. i saw a cuute outfit... i wanted it but then not so sure about me wearing it.. and then a lady helped me.. she said it'll be fine.. and she helped me find matching outfits.. yeay~! i bought a whole outfit from that store.. so.. little by little i was happy again...
but then there wqas this ONE skirt - ONE skirt~! it was LOVELYYYYYYY too pretty to be true... i was classy.. it was sooo beautiful... but of course that came along with a price... yen 17000(gasp!) of course i didnt buy it.. i wish i did.. but im broke.. how shall i describe it.. it felt very "french"? white base with red flower patterns, and it was the flow-y types with a red sash acting as a belt.. and underneath the skirt, we can see hints of red ruffles coming out...length: up to knees (also available in blue)
but all in all clothes shopping in japan is just depressing if you arent a stick.. as i walked around, i see a few "chubby" japanese girls, and i wonder... where the hell do you get your clothes and how the hell do you manage to pull of the "japanese look"?!?!?!? i started reading blogs of "fat" girls online... seeing plus size fashion blogs.. yeah i was that depressed.. was very tempted to buy clothes online wondering if i was a size 12 or size 14.. but then some where in the middle i realised that i was neither.. and yeah i'm just turning anorexic again.. but its alright, im not particularly starving myself, hell if any, im just eating good food...
im so full of hate and anger towards my body right now... if only if only....
i wish i was fairer.. so i can wear clothes of any colour i want, so i can wear huge ass sunglasses with white frames... and maybe i can dye my hair brown
i wish i was not so blessed across the chest and the ass, so i can wear tubes, mini-skirts, jeans...
i wish i looked like ebi-chan
Ketsumeishi's Mata kimi ni aeru
Now thats HAWTTT..
sighh..
sorry for all the negativity here.. but yeah.. everyone gets their lows sometimes...
to make it up to y'all
dinner in harajuku...
loves adeline, 4 more days till i'm home
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