minna-san~~~ o-hisashiburidesuuuuuuu

(hey y'all.... its been some time)

i apologise for all the worry i caused over the past emo posts... its all gone i tell you.. i decided that those peeps arent worth my precious time and attention.. im much too great, young and beautiful to let afflicting personalities add to my worry lines! MUAHAHAHA no seriously... i decided to not let other people affect me as much.. dont like me.. FUCK OFF...

right... i was working today in the restaurant, and my boss told me that at one particular table in the furthest end of the restaurant.. the customers were in an illicit affair and told carry on with my work but quieter than usual.. and i was surprised for a good bit..

firstly, how the hell did my boss know that those customers were having an affair!? i know that my boss remembers frequent customers and can predict their orders and such.. heck even i can do that! and also he can tell from the order what type of customers are sitting on the table, a couple, a group of girl friends, a family and stuff.. but HOW ON EARTH DOES HE KNOW THAT THEY WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR?!!? theres no way that this scenario could have happened:

Boss: Bien Venidos! Irrashaimase~~ (welcome in both spanish and japanese) by the way i work in a Mexican restaurant...

Customer: Table for two please, make it in a dark corner cause we're in an affair.. shhh

RIGHT?!?! no way~!!! it's non discreet, non Japanese and just NOT THE POINT of having an AFFAIR!! so during my whole work shift.. i couldnt help think table 4 over there are in a sinful relationship right now.. a handful of movies came out in my head.. Closer, Unfaithful and even the Tudors (because i watch it over and over again... Oh Henry youre just too sexy!!) and whats worse is that the couple were old and they looked nice and non the adultery kind... if i didnt know, id imagine them to be friends, husband and wife, or just a boss who is courting his co-worker... since my boss told me that.. thoughts such as "FILTHY SCUM!! go back to your spouses and children respectively!!!" or "they're in a adulterous relationship" or "FU-RIN" "FU-RIN"!!! (adultery) and then my thoughts suddenly imagined them having sex in a nearby love hotel or hotel after dinner and lighting some ciggies..

Male Customer: you filthy whore! your husband can't please you anymore eh? you like my chinchin (cock) better? say it for me bitch!

Female Customer: Oh yeah baybe! im such a filthy slut! i'm not turned on by pencil dick at home anymore.. fuck that shit.. he cant even get his chinchin (cock) up anymore.. OH YES YES YES!! KIMOCHIIIIIIIIIII SUKI YOOOOOOOOOO ride me hard baybe!

GROSSSSSSSSSS GROSSSSSSSSSSSS HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WHY DID MY BOSS TELL ME THIS?!!?!?!

WHY WHY WHY!!! WHY!!!i didnt need to know!!!

ahem.. so i recalled my small thesis paper i wrote last year.. about japanese fidelity... in literature and perhaps why it occurs.. it was an interesting paper and made me think negatively of all around me.. well it just scared me... you really never know whos committing adulterous relationships.. like.. these Japanese are all so polite and nice and smiley--you'd think aww... youre sooo nice, honorable and punitive.. you dont look like you have the balls to screw another man's wife.. BUT NOOOOOOOOOO... it happens!!! to even the most shy Japanese! WTF?! after finishing my paper, everywhere i went, trains, buses, walking along the streets, i couldn't help but think everyones having an affair.. that pretty young wife could be screwing with the milkman! (except that they dont have milkmen here!) ahaha

So there i was working and disgusted with the couple at table number four thinking wow... the books i researched on last year, told me stories of adultery and now at work i saw adultery right before my very own eyes... and then i thought to myself.. wait a minute... i have a friend who's in a relationship with this guy who has a gf back home... its cheating... the preliminaries, the stage one of adultery.. the only difference is that theres no legal bond between the two and perhaps no children involved.. so i started thinking... i really shouldnt be that disgusted with the couple in table four... my friend is attempting on stealing someones bf... writing this now.. i feel that i should slap my friend right across the face and scream at her BITCH WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK ARE YOU DOING!?! but... i dont.. because i'm tired of screaming at her.. and she says it's "LOVE"

"LOVE" my fucking ass!

im such a traditionalist... or perhaps prudish and perhaps also not experienced in love at all thats why i can say such things... but jeesh.. the car has only one driver, theres no co-piloting in a four wheel drive! planes yes, but thats not being used in this metaphor.. theres just not enough room for two drivers in a car! get off the wheel BITCH! get your own car! even better, get a BRAND NEW CAR!! take it for a test ride, dont like how it rides? send it back to the dealer! hahaha and then get another one!

oh craps.. im all fired up...

in the end, i was sooo deep in my thoughts and imaginations that i couldnt ask my boss, simply it would be too weird asking no? ill be left with my assumptions...

anyhoos... imma rest now... and try to cleanse my brain.. happy thoughts... marriages work! marriages work, marriages work... not all are having affairs... not all.. not all...

muchas gracias~ adios amigosssssssssssssssss

stuck

right.... this is highly unusual of me... when i go to tokyo.. i usually stay a night in tokyo... am prepared for staying over.. bringing a huge overnight bag and the such.. but tonight.. i thought i was going to an art event and then returning home to my comfy bed... to maybe perhaps watch "australia" for the umpteenth time again... but.. unfortunately for me... this is not the scenario tonight/this morning... i am currently stuck in roppongi... without actually wanting to be stuck in roppongi... i really should be at home... resting... or at least, i should be with my girlfriends clubbing somewhere.. since im already here and all... but not tonight, im not feeling "it".. furthermore.. im actually "blogging".. this is highly unusual of me...

in many ways im stuck... i feel like im academically stuck, philosophically stuck, emotionally stuck, relationship-wise stuck... i need to digest all this shit... academically stuck... not inspired to do anything... i just want to read read read and not be bothered by anyone nor any classes and the crappy reports... i feel like im not going anywhere with this university.. and if i was what am i going to do in the future? i have big dreams but can i achieve it? am i chasing the dream or is the dream chasing me? after japan where next? will whatever i attain in japan be worthy in other countries? ugh.. so disillusioned right now.. i blame it on holden caulfield... fucking hate him... (catcher in the rye)

philosophically.. i dont know anymore.. on the path of self discovery i think? the system versus the anti-system.. do systems work? perhaps this is a cultural issue too.. im always in a heated debate with this one friend whom i am recently frantically - almost struggling to find reasons for our friendship.. seriously.. lately i ask myself.. why and how are we even friends? we are two completely different persons.. of opposite perspectives and polar temperaments... my friend here is so unbelievably care-free, passionate and hippie like.. so fucking naive...while i think myself to be quite cold and relatively conservative... our opinions collide when it comes to society, norms and systems.. to put it in simpler terms.. maybe my personality is that of the worker ant.. and maybe that person could be said that of the butterfly.. always wanting to be free.. unchained from society's expectations and rules... doing everything for the moment. to some extent i am like that... but i believe that systems are there for a reason... and we can never truly be free...im rambling.. and not getting to the point... forget this paragraph.. i get so angry i cant think even think about it.. those who have read catcher in the rye... just think about the person who hates and does not comprehend the mindset of holden caulfield.. so fucking stupid... get out of the system.. what are you stupid?!?!?! dont you know its futile?!?! theres no such thing as breaking free from the system.. you can change the system internally, or change to a different system but not break free from it... you either work with what you have and do the best you can to satisfy yourself... or else.. wait for death.. because thats when youre really free..what "phonies".. chibai

relationship wise stuck.. was referring to my estranged strained friendship with this certain person.. i know this person resents me for my beliefs.. my body image issues, my fashionista self, my major...ugh.. seriously.. how the eff are we friends? god i need my caffiene fix... its 2am... fuck caffiene.. i want a freaking long island iced tea.. but i shall continue with my frustrations.. on to the more assumed meaning of "relationship".. ive given up.. my standards are too freakking high... i blame it on all those years of disney and hollywood and recently bollywood... they shouldnt draw princes too handsome... they shouldnt make them have charismatic personalities and charming.. they should replace all the hot men in hollywood with realistic men... balding, beer bellies, rude, sexist and uncharming... that way, we girls wouldnt expect much of men from the real world.. ive tried lowering my standards.. but there are none.. mostly gay, married and type A bastards.. so now, im giving up my party lifestyle for a more bookish one.. i have 2 more years.. theres no point in me looking for a special someone now.. imma read all i can.. have fun when i can.. find opportunities to get out of japan if i can... or maybe just turn lesbian... now THAT would be an interesting chapter to my life...

damn i just realised halfway.. that in some way.. im sounding like fucking holden caulfield... have i become my own hated personality? repressed and depressed? perhaps... hmmm... but im still working for my goals.. or am i? man... im really stuck arent i? confused lost and completely out of mojo... ugh... im aging.. or perhaps im hanging out with the older crowd so much that ive mentally aged with them... thinking like them.. slowly throwing in the party towel.. and for my supposed age group, we could say im prematurely aging.. hahaha perhaps? no?

ahh.. much reflection needed.. maybe i should learn to let go.. be free from society? maybe my butterfly friend is right? i guess im angry because im afraid that this butterfly is right, and im in the wrong.. can you imagine my set of beliefs crumbling on myself.. it would hit hard just like when the Japanese emperor proclaimed that he wasnt God anymore, and the people were shaken to their very cores...

ah i want to know more... im going crazy with the need to know... and oh god.. its still only 218am... 3 hours till the first train out of here...it was either internetcafe/love hotel/karaoke or calling my friend who lives in odaiba.. but she didnt answer her phone.. so it was internet cafe... the cheapest of all... i wish i had my party mode right now... hitting the bar would be oh so fun... drinking cocktails... people watching... 223am...

ah stuck... and mojo-less and in roppongi...

these are extraordinary circumstances... most unusual at that...

POLYVORE

obviously, i had too much time in hand! my cousin was playing with it as well and she wanted to create a nice one for her blog and so i did two set.... . she didn't like them =( and thought her one is better than mine. what a noob! LOLLLL

the first one i did was a total epic fail... i saved it as a set in polyvore in the beginning but i edited it in the end so i don't have the link..only got a print screen as i left the tab open..my cousin said it looks like a very lazy piece of work(i totally agree.. was too lazy to add more stuffs) and it is more colorful than 200o rainbows combined? wtf..lol



this is the 2nd one! im quite proud of it hohoho


leather and silver + dark red - by lavender172 on Polyvore.com

then i edited the 1st one.. still looks dodgy... and now more than 1000000 rainbows combined! LOLSSS

COLORFULLL - by lavender172 on Polyvore.com

in act of severe lack of update, i shall post a totally nonsensical, completely unimportant, simply a waste of time to read post... about my recent purchases... some of you might even hate me for even going down this road for being completely superficial and simply wanting to show off... but really... i just want to share my love.. haahha it could be worse.. and also.. my parents would never check this site.. nyeheheh

so yeah... i bought loads of things ever since new years... i couldnt help myself.. in japan they have these magical "fukubukuros" which means lucky bags in english...福袋 its a beautiful concept! like fof the first two weeks of new year, all shops are obliged to sell them.. put random things inside these sealed bags and sell them for lowered prices... and every new year thousands rush to malls queuing, pushing, forgetting all manners and propriety because... shopping is survival mode now... each woman for herself? i guess it could be compared to UK's boxing day sales? sometimes the things inside are actually worth a WHOLE lot more than what you would normally pay them for.. so yeah.. it was beautiful..

I was literally on a high during those times... rushing to shops where attendants were screaming "time sale" buy two items and you get an additional discount of 20%.. oh the adrenaline rush...

LOL! looks rather similar to last year and the year before.. and the year before that.. (pfft!)

i had no money to save in jan.. ;(

there was a sale in ZARA!

so right... i started the year.. with supposed "resolutions"... i dont know if i did well or not.. i dont believe i bought a lot of things... i bought things that were cheap.. no more ridiculously absurd prices for simple things.... if anything.. its my electricity bills.. dang it! winter hurts... last month i had to pay 11000yen... DAYUMMMMMMMMMM

the oddities that i fell in lust for.. hehehe

cute house slippers which help "mop" the floor as you walk.. EHEHE keeps feet warm too!

a pretty pretty coat!

wabi socks! (socks for the japanese slippers?) these contemporary designed socks.. some of them are even featured in MoMA awesome no!?

the new headphones.. of the old ones died... ive been cycling around with only one function-able (left) earphone.. and occasionally when the wires are aligned(?!) the right earphone would slip back to action... and then fade out again... god dont you hate it when that happens?!

the boots that ive always wanted! like the sketchers.. but with heels! ahh love~

FUKUBUKURO #1

ah.. this is one PRIME example of a fukubukuro.. i bought all this for 10000yen! isnt that just a bargain.. there were more freebies but i was too lazy to retrace where i placed them.. and i know that the perfumes arent exactly the hottest things at the moment.. but thats a SHIT load of perfume eitherways... and i havent opened anyone of them yet!

this is a small portion of my ZARA haul... usually 12900 for the red blazer, i got it for 3900.. usually 15800 for them pumps.. i got them for 3900 too.. i got two other shirts and pants for 990 each! i wanted to buy another jacket.. but my friend had already bought it.. and i felt queasy about buying something that someone you knew already bought... i wore the boots today.. and FUCK my feet are crying... i was in a mall just now looking for books, and asian food materials.. but halfway, i crashed... my feet could not take another step... so i cycled home without much things.. sniff sniff.. the things we do for heels..

FUKUBUKURO #2

this set and more... (i didnt take pics of the scarves) is another example of a fukubukuro that i fell prey too.. the bag alone is 30000yen, but... in the fukubukuro.. all the pics above became 10000yen! haha oh and the golden thingymajig up there.. its a tube.. HAHAHAHA how random is that?! im thinking of wearing it as an awfully shiny and obscenely SHORT mini skirt.. hahaha after winter has gone...

other than that... ive been purchasing reading materials.. for my research, for my studies, for my vanity, for ME!

loves,
adeline
shopaholic extraordinaire

just to add on adeline's confusness

yeah! i also get that confusion thing going on too coz like you adeline i cant speak chinese for shit..... i mean i speak and she eng just laughs, rolls her eyes and in turn i roll my eyes.

so when people ask me where i'm from it varies from time to time like:

Australian Angmo who i dun know: oh i'm from Brunei
their reply: Where is that?
does that mean that you are rich?
isnt that in Africa?
Australian Angmo who wants to know more: i'm from Brunei but i'm Chinese
their reaction: ?!?!?!?!?! but how?! you are from brunei? shouldnt you be Bruneian?!
my reaction: . . . ( no comments

Australia Angmo who has passed ignorant stage: ok i'm Actually Born in Malaysia,
Grew up in Brunei, Lived in Melbourne
for 3 yrs, am of chinese descent but
first language is english coz we were
colonised by the British...
their reaction: OHHHHhhhhh, kinda confused huh? well i'm just Australian
my reaction:!#$%#$^$%&.... hiya! doesnt matter!

yeah thats basically it, then they will ask why do i have have an accent??? and like why my english is so good and Shocked! yes people Shocked that i did not grew up in Australia???? teng teng teng

what can i say? FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

hiya even worse when i have kids lah, going to be so mixed up? i'll scratch my head later for that...


Love,
A Malaysian Chinese Serene who grew up in Brunei but currently living in Melbourne,there is no land for a specific identity

oh the ramblings of aplc

my friends think im a culturally/racially confused little girl..

as you all might already know.. imma sayin' it loud and proud BANANA! blame it on globalism and what not, I speak english like it's my first language.. no... what am i saying!? IT IS MY FIRST LANGUAGE!

I'm all offended when peeps point out how asian i am... ugh.. im no chinese.. probably because i generalise things too much... when i think of the chinese ethnic group i either think of the lalas from chunghwa, or the bad stereotypes of China... VERY BAD OF ME... maybe because i never could speak chinese, thus i was always exempted from the "cina" group.. so its me feeling anger and rejection from them... oh the bitterness...

and maybe because i can't fit in the "chio" of the "kawaii" group, i feel repulsed from it... i cant be cute... sexay's more ma thing~ you feeling me!?

and then theres all these whitening products which i constantly buy because of this asian mindset of white/fair skin is good, dark skin look like worker.. blablabla... i still use them.. and my angmo friends think im crazy, cos they love my mulatto skin colour apparently... i dunno.. I just feel that if i were fairer, I could pull off hot red lipstick looks like gwen stefani .... AWESOME-O!!!!

and then theres this side of me who wants to speak ebonics (like a black girl) and wants a bigger butt so that i can pump and grind in clubs like-no-otha'! (OH YEAH BITCHES GOT IT GOIN' ON!!!) i absolutely love black attitude! soo pazzazz!

yeah they concluded that I'm an asian who wants to be a white and black at the same time.. im sooo confused..

ive known of this for some time now.. and i was jarred back into this memory just now, because i was checking out my booty.. and realising.. THIS BABY AINT GOT NO BACK!!! for real yo~ shitzzzzzzzzzzz i need more butt... like.. LIST ME THEM FOODS THAT YO MOMMA TELL YOU TO NEVER EAT COZ IT GOIN STRAIGHT TO YO ASS!!!! imma eat them stuffies NOW!!!

im telling you! i need mo ass!

and what's worse! sasa just told me sitting down a lot worsens it! ugh! what am i to do? i read and surf the internet a lot.. IM DOOMED TO A FLAT ASS!!! shit! what do i do!?!!?

like this sexay thing up here!!!

HOT DAYUM!!!!! fresh buns from the bakery! damn.. if i was a guy, id be tempted to stick my wanger in there! shit.. GOD DAMN!

Shopping damage from DFO Essendon!

RL tote for 79!

RL 100%silk dress!super bargain from 299 to 69!

another RL dress for 69! this is nothing wow but I bought it for summer? and it's branded! lol

Some OZ brand ,SABA, 100% silk dress for 75+- from 199 i think?

nine west heels for 49! damn cheap!

I also bought a pair of FCUK black shorts for 60 but it's nothing wow also.... I like the length and the fit although they're not cheap~ I have been spending a lot of money lately.. on shopping and eating good food! behtahan ler... I have a high chance of going back to Brunei for good..so enjoy while I still can! righhhttt?

oh yea! had a super fun party last night at home with johnson(duh) serene,william, lynette and her housemate! got really drunk ler! so terrible but luckily didn't vomit! I don't have any pics from the party, they're all with johnson and mostly are videos anyway! damn embarassing lor i tell u the videos... so paiseh to watch them.... really teruk! johnson has gone back liao! so im alone at home until family comes over next week... they're damn funny ok.. take like super jialat routes to come here coz there are no seats on singapore airlines.. fly from miri to jb via airasia then to singapore by bus i assume then to melbourne via..... i dunno qantas most probably~ and this means that i wont be going back with them together! HOW GAYYYYYYYYYY =( i will have to fly back alone via singapore airlines! boohoohoo! it's ok i LOVE their inflight entertainment anyway and T3=SHOPPING.. LOL provided i have money... since i dont have 'atm machines' coming along with me! =(

bah..enough crappppiiinnngggggg

p/s: i miss my baby! lol

SHOPPING SPREE!

ookay... i wanna show you guys the stuff i just got... they're like SOOOOOOOOOOOOO ADORABLE!!! i love love love love them~


warning: youll have to excuse the lack of makeup... like.. i was already late for the shopping outing... i didnt have the time to put on makeup.. i felt sooo ugly walking around in the mall today.. like seriously.. i decided to go with a sexy outfit... the corset combo.. and then i was putting on my contacts, when my friend was already outside my apartment in the car.. and im like.. SHIT! i have a sexy outfit on.. and my face is clean of makeup.. HOW FUCKING WEIRD WAS THAT?!!?! like... for a split second.. i wanted to change to uglier clothes... i know i have serious issues...

oh.. and warning 2: excuse the excess of flab... i know i have put on a bit of kgs lately.... i swear! TOMORROW! im going to sign up for the gym!!!!!! MOTHEFUCK! im going to sexy thin!!! clothes WILL fit!

i know i have serious issues...

anyways... on to the PURRRCHASESS~~~~~~~~~~~

numero uno:

a hoodie/muffler! ive always wanted one!! kinda popular in japan... perhaps they'll look cuter on japanese chicks.. cos they're tinier... and im huge.. but nyah... i like it...

oh! the ends have pockets!!! KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII


numero dos:
a black and white stripy long sleeved top... sooo pretty... once again.. i see gut in myself.. but FUCK IT! and some beads... since its going to be all wintery now... black and white it is then! all i need now is a red berret, and ill be oh so french!

numero tres:
another black and white funky top/one piece... this one was supposed to be a one piece.. but i was too lazy to put on some stockings... so.. yeah! it looks fine as a top too! albeit non-figure flattering but whatever works with a gut works for me!

numero quatro:

HOT SHORTS!!! ive always wanted them!!! i get sooo envious of girls who wear them! they look SOOOO cute! okay mine arent extremely short.. but hey! its freakkin' winter up here! and of course ill have to wear stockings with these.. clearly.. HAHAHA but yeay! a pair of "hot" shorts.... FINALMENTE!

you wish you could tap that ass don't you? *wink* LOL

i wanted to buy more stuff... like... i wanted to buy this jacket... but my friends were all tired... so they were waiting for me at starbucks.. so i went to the store alone.. and i was confused... to get it or not to get it... ughh.. and it was sooo expensive.. but i really liked the model... or at least i thought i did... i went to the store a loong time ago... but i didnt buy the jacket i wanted on the spot because i was thinking "too expensive lah" maybe i can find a some what same but cheaper version? but i never did.. like maybe starting from that store was a mistake.. cos... nothing i saw ever measured up to THAT jacket! sooo tragic! HAHA

and then i wanted to buy a pair of boots today too! like i want furry shoes! but! i have this usual drama with shoes without heels... there were SOOOOOOOO many shoes that were cute... but.. they were flat... so im like.. nyeh... no heel no talk! HAHA i saw one pair which where nice... but it was the last pair..in a size M! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHh

what horrid luck... but i did buy some stuff.. so im happy... dunno about the wallet tho.. HAHA

*EDIT*
I totally forgot about my rather exp and "alice in wonderland" themed bling bling!

numero sinco

chio or not?

OMG FLOCK IS awesome

im such a retard...

i need to work.. fuck it..

la di daaaaaaaaaaaa

due to the inactivity of this blog... i decided to post some pictures that are too silly to go on facebook... facebook is evil.. i wish i could post pics there and post stories like a blog.. but lets face it.. people are lazy to read.. and im not inspired and the pictures pretty much sum up the stories anyway.. nyeh... just post em pics...

and this was what i was doing just now.. i was doing my take home spanish test.. and eating my newly baked coffee cupcakes from nigella lawson... and yes peeps.. i HAVE been baking like mad.. i blame the lack of men, the hormones and the curse of tsukuba... for everything! hey... its better than shopping i think.. no.. wait.. this is debatable... to shop when you are hormonally deranged or to bake and eat loads of cakes when hormonally deranged? hmmm i wonder... maybe shopping would be wiser.. at least i dont have to worry about the waistline.. but its too late... sasa thinks that my face has gotten rounder and I should stop baking and start pumping some iron.. fuck fuck fuck.. i should have went shopping earlier... BUT BUT BUT winter and autumn clothes are soooo DRAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

damn...


so yeah.. those of you who have been stalking me in facebook... and i KNOW you have... because i'm like soooo popular~ hahaha i can imagine she eng rolling her eyes and going "what the?" and wanting to slap me at the moment.. and serene laughing her ass off as usual.. HAHAHA -- ehem.. yeah as those of you who have been bored as hell as i am - always looking at facebook pics, you would know that my friends and i ALWAYS BAKE! there was a week when we baked EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY!

today, i couldnt resist the calling of my BRAND NEW AWESOME SECOND HAND -- eh? ahah MICROWAVE-OVEN-STEAMER.. OH YEAH.. so.. i baked... i wanted something non-chocolate-y because it was always choco-something.. i would have made something nutty like seed cake or something.. but... i ran out of seeds.. so gosh darn it.. it was coffee or none..

so here we are.. with pics of me... decorating and devouring them lovelies... MUAHAHAHA

bare naked ladies~

a generous amount of white chocolate topping

with a shy amount of cocoa powder

the first bite

several bites later~ ooff... i need my chai~

downing my chai latte

the last spurt

gone... BURP~

damn.. those were good... now where are my other lovelies~ ahhaha


thats all i wanted to distract you guys with...

till the next baking session... CIAO